By: Sara William
Grief is messy. It’s not something you can plan for or pack away neatly. One moment you’re fine, the next you’re breaking down in the cereal aisle because something reminded you of them. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re going through something heavy right now, maybe you lost someone close, maybe it’s a breakup, maybe you’re grieving the life you thought you’d have. Whatever it is, I’m really sorry you’re hurting. And I’m not here to throw clichés at you. I’m here as someone who’s also sat in the dark, trying to figure out how to keep going.
Healing from grief isn’t about “getting over it.” It’s more like learning to live with love and the loss all at once. Some days will suck. Others will surprise you. That’s okay. There’s no finish line or perfect way to grieve but there are ways to cope and take care of your heart in the process.
Here are 7 honest, comforting tips to help you as you navigate grief and loss:
1. Let Yourself Feel Everything (Even the Ugly Stuff)
You don’t have to be strong right now. You don’t have to “keep it together” or “stay positive.” Grief isn’t a clean emotion, it’s anger, sadness, guilt, relief, confusion… sometimes all in the same hour.
So cry if you need to. Yell into your pillow. Sit in the silence. Write in a journal and let it all pour out, even if it doesn’t make sense. Give yourself permission to feel exactly what you feel without shame or judgment.
Some days, you might feel totally numb. That’s okay too. Numbness is a part of grief. Your brain and heart are doing their best to process a huge emotional hit. Let them take their time.
2. Talk About It-Even When It’s Hard
Grief can feel isolating, like no one else could possibly understand what you’re going through. But the truth is, there’s someone out there who will get it, even if they can’t fix it.
Talk to a friend. Talk to your cat. Talk to a therapist. Talk to the person you lost. Seriously, speak out loud in your car if you want to. Just get the words out. Bottling things up only makes them heavier.
If the thought of saying it all out loud is too overwhelming, texting works too. Or voice notes. Or doodling your emotions with stick figures. Communication doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be real.
3. Grieve at Your Own Pace (Not on Anyone Else’s Timeline)
Here’s the thing: grief doesn’t have a calendar. There’s no “normal” amount of time to feel better. If someone tells you you should be “over it by now,” feel free to ignore them completely.
You might feel okay one day and then get knocked sideways by a song or a smell or a random Tuesday afternoon. That doesn’t mean you’re going backward. It just means you’re human.
This is your timeline. Your story. You get to decide what healing looks like and it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else.
4. Find Small Rituals That Bring Comfort
Rituals help. They don’t have to be big or spiritual or even meaningful to anyone else, just something that grounds you, comforts you, or makes you feel a little closer to the person (or version of yourself) you’ve lost.
Here are some ideas:
- Lighting a candle every night for them.
- Writing letters you never send.
- Listening to a song that connects you to a memory.
- Going for a walk at the same time every day just to breathe.
One friend of mine started cleaning out a drawer each week when she was grieving. Another baked her grandma’s cake recipe every Sunday. For me, it was sitting in the shower and letting myself cry without hiding. Whatever your thing is, let it be yours.
5. Move Your Body (Even Just a Little)
I know, I know. When you’re grieving, even getting out of bed can feel like running a marathon. But hear me out, your body is carrying so much emotion. Sometimes moving it helps release just a little of that weight.
You don’t need to hit the gym or run a 5K (unless that’s your thing). Start small:
- Stretch in bed.
- Walk around the block.
- Dance in your living room to a song that makes you feel something.
- Roll around on the floor dramatically if that helps (been there).
Movement isn’t about productivity. It’s about reconnecting with your body and letting it help carry the grief, even just a little bit.
6. Say “No” (A Lot)
You’re allowed to protect your peace right now. Don’t feel bad about canceling plans, ignoring texts, or turning down invitations that feel too hard. If people care about you, they’ll understand or at least try to.
Grief demands a lot of energy. That energy needs to be conserved and used wisely. You don’t owe anyone a social appearance or a cheerful version of yourself.
Give yourself permission to say “no” and set boundaries without guilt. You’re healing, and healing requires space.
7. Let Joy Sneak In (It Doesn’t Mean You’ve Forgotten)
This one is hard to explain, but so important.
Eventually, joy will creep back in. A moment will make you laugh. A dog will do something dumb. You’ll taste something delicious or see a beautiful sky, and for a second, you’ll feel okay.
And then the guilt might hit because how can you laugh when you’re supposed to be grieving?
But listen: allowing joy doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten. It doesn’t mean the grief has disappeared. It just means your heart is making room for both grief and joy, love and loss, pain and peace.
It’s not a betrayal to smile again. It’s healing.
Bonus Tip: Don’t Compare Your Grief
Grief isn’t a competition. There’s no “right” way to do it. Your loss is valid, no matter the circumstances. Whether you lost a parent, a friend, a partner, a pet, or a version of your life you hoped for, it matters.
Just because someone else seems to be “handling it better” doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Social media lies. People put on brave faces. Inside, we’re all just figuring it out as we go.
You’re not weak. You’re grieving. And that’s hard.
Life Keeps Moving-But You Don’t Have to Rush
The world around you might feel like it’s zooming on while you’re frozen in place. That’s a brutal part of grief. People go back to work, kids laugh on playgrounds, emails still flood your inbox. Meanwhile, your heart feels like it’s shattered into a million pieces.
And you might even feel pressure to “get back to normal.” But here’s the truth: there’s no going back. There’s only learning to live in a new way with the memories, the scars, the love that still lingers.
You don’t need to rush. Your healing is not a performance. Take your time. Take all the time you need.
When to Ask for Help
Grief is natural but sometimes it gets too heavy to carry alone. If you’re finding it hard to eat, sleep, get out of bed, or function at all for long stretches, it’s okay to ask for help.
Therapists, grief counselors, support groups exist for a reason. You’re not “crazy” or broken if you need someone to talk to. You’re human. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
You don’t have to go through this alone.
What Helped Me Most
Just to share something personal, what helped me the most during my own grief was honesty. Being honest with myself about what I felt. Being honest with people about what I needed (or couldn’t handle). Being honest about the fact that I was not okay, and that was okay.
Also… music. And long drives. And crying at random commercials. And duct cleaning (yeah, weirdly satisfying something about scrubbing away literal dust helped clear some emotional dust too).
But mostly, it was knowing that grief doesn’t mean you stop loving someone. It means you keep loving them, in a different way now.
You’re Still Here-And That Matters
If you’re reading this, it means you’ve made it through another day. That’s not nothing. That’s brave. That’s strong. That’s something to be proud of, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.
Grief may always live in your heart, but over time, it’ll find its place. It won’t take over everything forever. You’ll grow around it. You’ll find light again.
About the Author…
Sara William is a digital marketing consultant, writer, freelancer, WordPress enthusiast, and coffee lover.
